Reforming the Rock Star Read online

  And with every word, she was more struck by how much he’d be giving up for her.

  “You can’t do that,” she said. “It’s not worth losing all the work you did to get here.”

  Finally, he joined her on the bed and took both her hands in his. The warmth of his calloused touch surged through her and made her feel more whole than she had in the days they’d been apart. But she couldn’t let him sway her. She wouldn’t allow him to make such a rash decision. Especially not for her.

  “You’re worth it. You are worth more than everything I own and more. Whoever or whatever made you feel like you weren’t should be left to die. I did work hard to be where I am today. I’ve played until my fingers bled and I was happy. But without you, I know I’ll never be happy, truly happy, again.” He rubbed a thumb over her palm and sent tingles up her spine. Then he raised his hand to stroke her cheek, and she leaned into the caress despite herself. “This isn’t for you. It’s for us. I love you,” he whispered. “As crazy as it sounds, I do.”

  He inched closer until she could feel his warm, minty breath on her cheek. He was so close. His warm lips were millimeters away. She only had to stretch forward, and she would taste him again. Capture that full bottom lip between her teeth. “I can’t let you.”

  “Love you? It’s a little too late for that.”

  “No. I won’t let you quit the band, even for a while. People are counting on you. You love it. There has to be another way.” She stared at him for a long moment. There had to be something. How could she live by his side and damn him to a life in Montana that she was already trying to claw out of? How could she look at him every morning and know that he could have been so much more but gave it all up for her?

  There was no pretending anymore—with herself or with anyone else. If he was willing to lay down his dreams after only a week together, this was love. And love meant sacrifice. For both of them. Just like that, a plan clicked into place

  “Let me come to San Francisco with you.” It all made sense now. She wanted to cater in a big city, and there was no better place to be than the Bay Area. Paula would come with her, and she could be with Laz. “Stay with the band. I can’t allow you to give up everything for me. I have nothing here that I can’t bring there.” She paused for a minute, then continued her thought, “I love you. And I want to be together and try. No matter what it takes.”

  Nothing had ever felt so right.

  He shook his head, a frown furrowing his brow. “That won’t solve all our problems. I’ll still have long nights and tours. You’ll still have to wonder.”

  This time it was her turn to comfort him, and she patted his knee. “I’ll have Callie. And a cell phone. And naked pictures of you.” She winked, and he laughed. “We can work something out. We’ll put together a system to make it work. And if it stops working, we try something else.” She didn’t know how or what, and already her stomach was starting to hurt at the thought of weeks of lonely nights, but some Laz was better than no Laz at all.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” A slow, sweet smile stretched across his face.

  She leaned forward and finally captured his lip between her teeth, nibbling the soft skin until he joined her, fisting his hand in her hair as he pulled her closer to him. She was losing herself in the embrace, allowing the warmth to fill her, drinking in every breath of him. His tongue met her, and she pulled it in, swirling her own in a rhythmic response.

  There would never be enough of him. Even if he didn’t move inside her again, it might have been enough just to feel his soft lips on hers. Loving her. Needing her.

  Accepting her.

  After a long moment, she pulled away.

  “This is what I want,” she breathed. “You taught me not only to love you, but to love me.” The tears came on, hot and fast, but she fought through them. “I can never thank you enough for that.”

  “That was all you, beautiful girl.” He kissed every tear-stained inch of her cheeks and pulled her closer, rocking her back and forth in his embrace as her happy weeping subsided.

  With him, she could be both Marilyns, the way Callie had said. She could be sexy and glamorous, but she could be Norma Jean, too. The best part was, she didn’t have to change a thing to do both.

  To Laz, she was all those things wrapped in one.

  …

  Finally, Syd was all his.

  They would have a lot to work through, but with her in his arms, he had no doubt that they’d manage. After all, there was nothing this woman couldn’t do.

  “Do you need to go tell the guys you’re getting back together and that you momentarily lost your mind?” she asked.

  “I can tell them after.” All he wanted to do was be with her.

  “After what?” She pulled out of his embrace and stared up at him just as he jumped on top of her and pinned her wrists above her head with his hands.

  Her breath caught and she let out a scream that sounded much more excited than scared. Good.

  “It’s been two days since I last had you,” he said, holding her wrists taut against the mattress as he straddled her. “We have to make up for lost time.”

  “We do have a lot to celebrate.”

  He nipped her neck, and she hummed her satisfaction.

  “You know, Syd, I do have to know one thing before we continue with all this,” he murmured between kisses.

  “What’s that?” Her voice was husky and sexy.

  “What’s going to happen to little Laz and Chelsea and our boat, Flip? Is that out of the question now?” He chuckled and her laughter quickly joined his.

  “They’ll stay at the house in Cape May. Maybe we’ll get there some day. If you want to.” She kissed the top of his head and he released her wrists to cup her cheek.

  “I want to,” he said.

  There was no doubt. This woman deserved all that and so much more. She deserved whatever her heart desired—she was so resilient, beautiful, and perfect. And he was one lucky bastard to have found her. He slowly slid off their clothing until they were both completely naked.

  She was gorgeous. And she was all his.

  Epilogue

  The five months since she’d moved to San Francisco had been a dream. Sure, Laz was gone for big chunks of the days and weird hours while the guys prepped some new material for their tour, but when he was finally with her again, she could hardly remember what it was like when they were apart.

  Besides, her own business was so explosive with the local crowd that she didn’t have time to notice. Paula had even taken on some of the smaller venues and perfected the macaroni fritter to an art form so that they could do double the business.

  Things had been crazy for both of them, but it had worked, just as Laz said it would.

  All except for planning what would happen when The Rift went on tour for their next album.

  The fear was growing more with every day, but she was careful not to mention it. She trusted Laz, and even if a thousand women swarmed his bus, she knew he’d never cheat. Her only concern was the nights without him. And the days. She could barely remember what that life had been like anymore.

  “All right, boss, looks like everything’s taken care of.” Her sous chef patted their container of cookware and nodded. “I can carry this stuff out if you want to get a move on.”

  They’d just catered a secret celebrity wedding, the fifth big event that month, and she was more than ready to head home and cool her jets. Laz wouldn’t be home until later, but that only meant she could tidy the house for him…or maybe watch a dozen episodes of Chopped in the meantime.

  As she climbed into the car, her phone buzzed.

  Speak of the devil.

  “Hey. Meet me at home. I’ve got a surprise”

  Her heart sang. Yes, a half day!

  They’d had a few of them when she’d first moved in, but with the album release looming, his personal time was quickly becoming scarce. Morning, noon, and night, he was in the studio, refining riffs and
rerecording beats that didn’t come out just right.

  She had the girls to share with her in her work widowhood, but nothing felt right until Laz was home with her.

  And that was all the more reason to worry about the upcoming tour.

  She shook the thought from her mind and headed out before rush-hour traffic began. The whole ride home, she played with the steering wheel and fiddled with the radio tuner. The Rift played on almost every station, and Laz’s steady rhythm matched her own heartbeat.

  Maybe the surprise had something to do with the tour? Like a plan of how to keep things going long distance? Maybe times to call or email response times? Something to keep her mind at ease?

  She took a deep, calming breath. Whatever it was, it would be great.

  For the rest of the ride home, she tried to keep her mind off the future and on the present. Laz wasn’t leaving for another two months. They had plenty of time to figure something out. They would make it work.

  Finally, she pulled up to the house, but then she stopped short.

  In front of their door was a large red box. Apparently his surprise did not involve hiding anything. She hopped from the car and strolled toward it, but halted when she spotted a tiny envelope with the word “STOP” printed in enormous letters.

  She picked it up, then flipped it over. The backside was labeled “Read Me.” She ripped the card open and followed the instructions.

  Syd, I have a surprise for you,

  But first please figure out my clue.

  Though I loved you from the start,

  These two people joined our hearts.

  Well that was an easy one. She sped to Callie’s house and found Jake waiting outside, standing beside a red box like the one that had been at her house.

  “Open it,” he said.

  She lifted the lid and pulled out her treasure. A new pair of sweatpants, custom made with the words “Chef Sydney” written in curly font down the side.

  “Thank you,” she said with a smile, but Jake shook his head.

  “Not from me. Here’s the next one.” He handed her an envelope, and she pulled out the second clue.

  You moved to join me, you’re so great

  Go to the place of our first SF date.

  She thought back. Where was the first place they’d gone together in San Francisco?

  She knew that he’d taken her to a swanky, upscale sushi house after they’d finished unpacking, but the first technical time they’d hit the city together had been at two in the morning the first night they’d shared a bed. Their bed. Together.

  She’d been putting away her things all day and was totally exhausted, but she couldn’t manage to turn off her excitement long enough to rest. They’d gone to bed and for hours she lay awake, pretending to sleep while watching him from the corner of her eye. She’d been convinced that no matter how long she lay there, she would never believe that this was real.

  That he was her man. That this was her house.

  Finally, around one in the morning, Laz had rolled on his side and wrapped an arm around her. “You are an awful fake sleeper,” he’d said. “Luckily, so am I. Let’s get out of here.”

  They’d gotten dressed in a hurry and headed out, walking through the brisk night air to the twenty-four-hour diner a couple of blocks away. The place was awful—all chrome fixtures and neon lights, and the food switched between burned to a crisp and disgustingly raw with no middle ground in between. But with Laz, it had been perfect.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” he’s said.

  “Me, too.” And while chewing through the world’s blackest onion ring, San Francisco had officially become her new home.

  Returning to the present from her foggy memory, her doubt was suddenly gone. It was plain as day. She had to go to the diner to find her next clue.

  When she got there, she spotted Lori and Dash through the wide, chrome-framed windows. They were sitting at a booth, splitting a pile of nachos.

  And their plate was directly beside another large red box.

  Careful not to waste time, she headed in and the couple’s conversation died off as soon as they noticed her.

  “Ready for box number two?” Lori smiled and handed her friend the gift. Inside was an overlarge T-shirt to match her sweats.

  “Adorable,” Lori said. “I think we should make heels to match sweatpants. Just for you. What do you think?” Lori crunched down on a nacho, and then her entire face scrunched together in disgust before she spit it back out.

  “I’ll have to think it over.” Syd smiled.

  “Before you do that—” Dash held out an envelope to match the one Jake had given her. “Make sure you finish the hunt.”

  She ripped open the clue, and her heart hammered against her ribs. There were still two more boxes and one was at her house. This was the one last mystery. She skimmed the note once before reading it again, trying her best to decipher the message.

  You love to cook, I love your art

  Meet me near the shopping cart.

  There were shopping carts just about anywhere she could have gone, but if it had something to do with cooking…

  It took a second, but the words finally clicked together and she headed for the farmer’s market near Ocean Heights. Ever since she’d moved in, he’d joined her on her weekly shopping trips, asking her about the different exotic fruits and vegetables they came across in their travels. At first it had only been curiosity, but after a while it had become like a little challenge.

  Every week, she got something he’d never seen before—bok choy, cactus pears, and the like—and had made him love it. Though he was always sure to let her know that Dorito mac and cheese was still his favorite food.

  When she pulled up, the third box was waiting for her, sheltered beneath a table of fresh avocados.

  But that wasn’t the only thing waiting. Lita stood beside the package, a wide grin spread across her face.

  “So romantic.” Was the first thing her friend said before bending over and giving her the box.

  Second to last. She steeled herself and opened it. A crisp, white chef’s hat and jacket laid inside, embroidered with the words “The Rift.”

  Well, that would need some explaining. Cute, though.

  But there was no time. She needed to see the final question.

  Because if all of her friends had been part of this journey, there was no doubt in her mind about who’d be waiting at the finish line.

  Lita and Rocky stood waiting with the last envelope in hand, and watched as she read the final poem.

  Sydney, my love, I’m your biggest fan

  Meet me where our lives began.

  She had no memory of getting in the car or driving back home. She didn’t even know if she’s said good-bye to Lita. All she knew was that she was standing in front of the final box. Nobody was there to greet her and there was no note accompanying it. Just a huge red box, much bigger than the ones who had come before it.

  Now or never.

  She opened the package to find a huge suitcase inside, embroidered with the words “Chef Sydney.”

  Thoughtful…and weird.

  It took all of her effort to walk through the door, and when she did she nearly passed out. Their house was filled with candles of every shape and size and rose petals covered the floor. In the middle of their living room, Laz stood alone, waiting for her.

  “I…” She started, but stopped when she realized she had no words. Nobody had ever done anything so beautiful for her.

  “Sydney.” He walked toward her, took her hands in his, and led her toward the couch.

  Once she was settled, he nestled in beside her, still holding each of her hands and staring deep into her eyes. “I love you with all my heart. These last five months have been the best of my life and the more I thought about leaving you behind on this tour, the more I wanted to quit music altogether. Let me offer you a compromise. Come on tour with us and be our personal chef. Just be with me. Now and always.”
>
  It was the perfect plan. Why hadn’t she seen it before? Paula was more than talented enough to hold down the fort while she was away for a few months, and Sydney would be free to spend her time doing the two things she loved—cooking and Laz.

  He stood and swept her into a heart-stopping kiss, deep and passionate.

  “Of course. I’ll follow you anywhere.” Hell, she could go back to starvation and poverty if it meant sharing her lifetime with him.

  “I meant what I said, you know. I love you, Sydney.” He brushed a kiss over her again and she sank into it, losing herself in his warmth.

  “I love you, too, Laz.” She whispered the words against his lips. “Now and always.”

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  About the Author

  Christine Bell is the USA Today bestselling author of contemporary romances, and one half of the happiest couple in the world. She doesn’t like clowns or bugs (except ladybugs, on account of their cute outfits), but loves movies, football, and playing Texas Hold’em. Writing is her passion, but if she had to pick another occupation, she’d be a wizard. She loves writing fun, sexy romances, but also hopes to one day publish something her dad can read without wanting to dig his eyes out with rusty spoons.

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