Reforming the Rock Star Page 12

  No, it was better to leave now and be done with it. She couldn’t do this to herself. She wouldn’t.

  So she left, stalking back toward the estate without another word. She’d tell him she was tired, that she was sick. Anything, anything other than the truth.

  Although, really?

  That was the truth.

  …

  “What happened to Syd?” The girls behind the counter hadn’t known when he’d asked them ten minutes before, or ten minutes before that, but he had to give it one last go. Why would she leave without so much as telling him? And why in God’s name would she leave him alone with his octopus-arms publicist?

  The woman was like human quicksand. As soon as he got anywhere near her, she’d try to suck him in, downing him in her presence whether he tried to fight it or not. And the more he did try to pull away, the more aggressive she became.

  “Laz? Why don’t you just leave her? I’m sure she’s fine.” Elyse gestured toward the house and accidentally brushed him with her chest again.

  “I’m going up to the estate to see if she’s there.”

  “Let me go with you.”

  “No.” He heard the harshness in his tone and rushed to correct himself. He might have no patience for her, but she was still Jake’s family friend. He had to make nice no matter how insufferable she was. “Please. I’d rather talk to her on my own.”

  “Fine, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure, good plan.” All he knew was that he had to find Sydney and figure out what the hell was going on.

  She hadn’t been the same since they’d left the room. On and off, there had been glimpses of the Syd he was coming to know. But most of the time she seemed distracted and a little sad. The signs were all there, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them.

  The twitching when other women spoke to him. The far-off gaze. The anxiety.

  Bridget had done the same things in the beginning. And that had only been the start. Probably better to just let it go. Walk away. But he couldn’t.

  When he knocked on her door, she answered with a muffled call. “I’m…busy.”

  “No, you’re not. Come on, Syd. Open up.”

  There was a long pause, and then the lock clicked and the door swung open to reveal Sydney in nothing but a fluffy white robe, her hair tossed into a messy bun atop her head.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Can I come in?”

  She gestured him inside and closed the door, leading him into the room and motioning for him to join her on the bed.

  “You left.”

  “I’m sorry.” She looked away and shrugged. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  She penetrated him with her icy gaze, then let out a long breath. “You probably shouldn’t.”

  Okay, so at least she was being honest now. That was a start and a lot more than he’d gotten from Bridget at this stage in the game. “What happened?” he asked

  “It was too much. Everyone was staring at us. And all those women…and that woman.?”

  “It’s a work relationship. She’s a friend of Jake’s. Otherwise I would have gotten rid of her long ago. She’s aggressive. At best.”

  “And at worst?”

  “Completely fucking psychotic.” He grinned, and Sydney offered him a glimpse of her smile. That was a start at least. “But that’s not the issue here.”

  “No.” She didn’t add anything, and he didn’t press her to. She’d come to it on her own. It didn’t take but a second. “There are millions of women out there who want you. Women who are more beautiful than me, more worldly. Sexy. You can have any one of them, and we both know it. I’ve been racking my head all day, trying to figure out what the hell you’re still doing here with me.”

  He settled the disheveled blankets over her. “I’m here because I want you.”

  “But why?”

  “Because you’re beautiful. And funny and smart and sexy. Not graceful, but you can’t have everything.” He nudged her with his elbow. This woman was special. More so than anyone he’d ever met.

  Maybe things were moving fast, but he’d never felt this way before, and if he wanted to explore that—and fuck it, he did—then she deserved to know the truth. “I know a lot about your past. From Callie and from you. I think you deserve to know about mine.”

  She sat up straighter in the bed but didn’t say anything.

  “There’s a reason I don’t do relationships. And it’s not just life on the road or long-distance bullshit. That matters, but…but it’s not the real reason. I was in love once with a girl I’d known my whole life.” He paused to gauge her reaction, but she just sat patiently, waiting for the rest of it. “We were high school sweethearts. She was with me when I started playing, went to every gig, hell, she was there when the band signed me to replace Dash. She was so happy for me, and she was just as much a part of my success as I was. She was my backbone, you see?”

  Sydney nodded, her soft blue eyes already looking a little sadder as she anticipated the ending to his story.

  “So, the band went on the road, and she went from high school sweetheart to the girlfriend of a superstar overnight. It was fun for her at first.” He paused, then swallowed hard before continuing, the memories coming hard and fast now. “And then it wasn’t. She called every night. Then twice a day. Then on the hour, in the middle of rehearsal, while I was sleeping, just to check up on me. One night she called me a hundred times in a row while I was in the studio because I didn’t answer.”

  He took a deep breath, willing himself to finish his story. “The lack of trust was tough on me, but watching her was far worse. She wasn’t okay. Every time I’d come home, she was a little less herself, a little farther away. And one day I came home and she was gone. The house was empty. She hadn’t left a note.”

  Sydney’s eyes hooded in sympathy, and she opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed on. If he was going to tell the story, he was going to tell the whole thing. “So I went to her mother’s house, but when I knocked on the door, they wouldn’t let me inside. She’d taken half a bottle of pills and called her mother right before she passed out.” He shoved a hand through his hair and shook his head. “She tried to kill herself because she couldn’t stand it anymore. Her mother told me to leave and never come back. That I’d ruined her life and that she couldn’t bear to see me. I never heard from her again.”

  She was the first person he’d ever told the real story to. Not even his bandmates had known the full extent of what had become of his once love. The pain had eased over the years and the love he’d once had for her had long since dried up, but the fear of a repeat performance remained fresh.

  Sydney must have sensed as much. The recognition was plain on her face.

  They sat in silence for a long moment before she spoke. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

  “Don’t be.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, you know. She clearly had issues that ran deeper than just the two of you.” She brushed a strand of fallen hair from her cheek and reached for him, pulling him to sit on the bed next to her. “I feel for her, though. I mean, I know we don’t have…that, but it’s easy to see how a person could let it get to their head.” He nodded and kept his gaze locked on hers, willing to put the rest of it together.

  “Why did you tell me all that?”

  She knew, but she was going to make him say it.

  “I’m telling you because I care about you and because I want to be with you. For more than just the next week. I want to spend time getting to know you. I want to take a chance on you, and for you to take a chance on me. You are the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met, no matter what you or anyone else thinks, but you have to know what that means. If we end up in a relationship, it won’t be easy. I can’t lose someone else that way, and I couldn’t live with myself if I did to you what I did to her.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Sydney laid a creamy hand over hi
s and squeezed.

  “That doesn’t matter right now. I need to know you can trust me. I need you to understand what it means to be my woman.” He squeezed her hand back. “And I need you to say you want to try.”

  She took his hand from hers and stood before him. Slowly, she untied her robe and let it fall to her ankles.

  “I do.”

  Chapter Eleven

  When her robe slid away, so did her inhibitions.

  He’d bared himself to her, and so now she would do the same to him. There was nothing left between them now. No walls, real or imagined.

  Even if she’d managed to hold on to some shred of the nervousness she’d felt their first time together that had been fading each day, his gaze sweeping over her with so much approval would have melted it away. He stared at her like she’d stepped off of a runway and into his bed. Like nobody had ever, ever done before. And that had her heart beating double time.

  She stepped toward him with determination.

  The prickling chill of the air-conditioned room against her skin mingled with the tingle of her desire and every inch of her body was suddenly a study in contrast. A blend of heat and coolness. Of hardening nipples and loosening shoulders. The only thing that was consistent was the bone-deep want.

  She bent to her knees in front of him and he sucked in a breath as her fingers worked his belt loose. Dipping back down, she pulled off his shoes, then his socks, and finally she returned to the waist of his jeans.

  “Let me,” she said.

  She tugged until the button came unfastened, and then she slid the zipper down. That sound seemed to echo through the room. He shifted his hips to help her slide his jeans and boxers off in one.

  The first time it had been a shock, how huge he was. But now, instead of nervous fear, she stared with breathless anticipation. She’d savor every inch of him. And when she was done, she’d start over again. Keep going until both of them were spent and she had nothing left to give. Because right now? She was ready to give everything she had.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.

  She smiled, her heart pitter-pattering in her chest the same way it always did when he complimented her. She knew he meant it. Really meant it. Laz was a straight shooter, and she loved that she could take his words at face value.

  “Thank you,” she said and moved to stand. She placed a palm on each of his knees as she went, and spread his legs apart, making a little space for her to nestle into once her task was complete. Without another word, she gripped the edge of his shirt and yanked it over his head.

  She stared at him by the soft glow of the lamp and shook her head in awe. This? Right now? This was the happiest she’d ever felt. Like half of a pair. She was totally crazy about him, and it excited and terrified her at the same time. She wasn’t sure what the future held for them, but one thing she knew, though. He’d forever changed her. He’d given her a confidence she hadn’t known was possible.

  “Thank you,” she said again, and his brows pulled together in confusion, but when she sank back to her knees all curiosity melted away into steely focus.

  She took him in her hands, watching the subtle shift in his face as she worked him up and down. The way the stubbly line of his jaw tightened. The way his gaze heated as he watched her, staring from her bared breasts to her mouth and back again.

  She knew what he wanted, and tonight he could have it all.

  Slowly, she lowered her lips and took him in one inch at a time. Licking every part of him with the sweep of her tongue as she sank deeper and deeper still, rolling around his swollen head until he groaned low in his throat and his calloused fingers grabbed for her shoulder, spurring her on.

  “Goddamn,” he ground out.

  In a different time and place, she might have been concerned. Might have worried she wasn’t doing it right or that she looked weird sprawled on the ground. But it was all a whisper now. An easily pushed aside remnant of the past. With the way his fingers dug into her flesh, there was no doubting his appreciating of her skill, and she was only just getting started.

  She pulled back and licked the length of him, pausing only at the base to plant gentle kisses on the parts of him her mouth couldn’t take in. Finally, she worked him again, sucking him in deep and opening her throat to take in more. To stretch herself to the absolute limit.

  “Shit,” he groaned and he threaded his fingers through her hair as she pressed on, savoring every sweet sound. The way his body responded to her touch. The way he grew impossibly harder in her mouth.

  She hummed, quickening her speed every few seconds and then returning to a torturous pace. He massaged her head more with every stroke, and every inch of her responded. She wanted to make him come. To feel his release. But just as she began to work him to near frenzy, his hands slipped to her shoulders again and he pushed her away.

  “No.” His voice sounded choked and she tried to shake him off.

  “I want to,” she whispered, running the tip of her tongue over her now-swollen lips.

  “I want to take my time with you, and what you’re doing there is going to derail things fast,” he admitted with a pained smile.

  He pulled her to standing as he did the same. Wrapping his hands around her hips, he guided her toward him and pressed every bit of their skin against each other. Just close enough for her aching nipples to brush his hard chest. To feel the heat that radiated from his skin. To smell the intoxicating scent that always hung on the air around him.

  He let his gaze rove over her before meeting her eyes. “Get on the bed.”

  Blood pounded in her ears, and she was deaf to everything but her own heartbeat. She lay on the bed, but felt no mattress, no cool comforter beneath her. There was only the adrenaline rushing through her sensitized body. Then he palmed the insides of her thighs and spread her wide. She was so ready to feel him against her slick core. To have him slide hard and deep until she wanted to scream with the pleasure of it. Instead, his fingertips trailed the length of her thighs up and down, the brush of skin so light that it was little more than a whisper.

  She could practically feel his gaze as it moved over her, zeroing in on every part of her body. But now, there was a familiarity between them and when he studied her, she felt sexy and beautiful and safe.

  When he spoke, it was as if he’d been reading her mind. “Everything about you makes me crazy to have you,” he whispered.

  She blushed, but he saved her from the need the respond as he continued.

  “Your breasts are so perfect.” He took one pink nipple between thumb and forefinger and pinched, sending skitters of anticipation to the rest of her body while the other hand kneaded her other breast.

  “And your face.” He moved from beneath her cleavage to trace the side of her face with his knuckle. “All of you.” And then he was trailing down her body again, his gaze following his fingers until they found the spot that ached for him. Still, he paused, hovering above her core without daring to touch her.

  “Before I make you come, I wanted you to know that. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set eyes on. Especially here.” His thumb rubbed her slick center and she gasped. The anticipation had stretched on for so long that her body had grown used to the tight core of need that rushed through every sense. But as soon as she felt him, that cord snapped away and frayed into a million tiny pieces.

  He worked her in small, slow circles, staring at her intently as she writhed with every flick, every little sensation. Occasionally he would dip down, enter a finger inside of her to tease her. Bringing her that much closer to the peak and then backing away again.

  Maddening and sexy. Just like Laz was in every other regard.

  “I’m going to taste you now,” he said, practically licking his lips before he sank between her open thighs. His finger continued its pulse, but now the pleasure was twofold. Stroking her swollen clit with his tongue just as he had with his finger, and then changing the pace, the rhythm. Making her body guess and quak
e and contract.

  But most of all, he made her want more.

  “It feels so good.” She arched into him and he lapped her, moving faster still inside of her.

  God only knew what he did or how he did it. All she knew that it was electric. Pure energy exploding into a million particles that made sparks of pleasure shimmer through every cell in her body.

  She clutched the covers in both fists, trying to maintain the racking pleasure of his touch, but it was too much. He was so good; it felt so right. Her walls were shuddering with every thrust of his fingers, the fire flaming higher and higher. She moaned his name and then slipped from the edge, hurdling off the cliff where there was nothing but pure joy and ecstasy and the feel of Laz. Just Laz. Because he was all hers.

  She bucked and twitched until the storm passed and, panting, she emerged from her stupor.

  “Someone enjoyed the appetizer,” Laz whispered and then nipped her thigh.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, still trying to focus.

  “I mean we still have the main course.” He stood and walked toward his pants. When he finally reached them, he pulled a foil square from his pocket and unwrapped the condom inside before rolling it over himself.

  Another thrill of anticipation took over and she stood to join him.

  “Get on the bed,” she murmured, a shot of need pouring through her again already.

  “Oh, now you’re calling the shots?” His eyebrows flew up, but he did as she asked.

  “You said I had a beautiful body. You should see all of it.” She took a deep breath, reminding herself of the promise she’d made when she’s removed her robe.

  She’d never been on top before. It had always seemed too vulnerable, too…naked. In missionary, she was able to shield some of herself under the covers, safe from the view of prying eyes, even if those eyes happened to belong to someone who wanted to sleep with her.

  But that had all been a symptom of a disease she was curing herself of. She didn’t want to be that girl anymore.